Scholars Tell the Difference Between Dreams and Fantasies

A friend explained to me recently that there is a difference between a dream and a fantasy. A dream, she said, is something you act upon, while a fantasy is lived only in the head. I was talking about my desire to have an animal rescue ranch, and how I am once again shutting the door on it by moving to a neighborhood where hoofed animals are not welcome.

“Just maybe,” said the friend, “The ranch is a fantasy and not a dream.”

I would have to think more about this. To begin my research, I Googled “dreams versus fantasy.” After scrolling though a few lurid enticements, I was directed to Quora.com. Quora bills itself as “A place to share knowledge and understand the world,” but should bill itself as “A place where idiotic, often prurient questions are asked and equally idiotic answers are returned.”

It is an interactive Q & A site whose questions and answers are offered up by people who appear to have spent an inordinate amount of time coming up with essence-revealing monikers. One of these is “Gay Polish Buddhist and manticore breeder.” A manticore, in case you’re wondering, is a mythical beast that is part lion and part man with a sting like a scorpion. I am not sure where he’s getting his brood manticores or how they are reproducing, given they are all male, but I’ll leave that question to the Quora scholar who bills himself as “Walking the fine line of sound and science.” (Who knew there was a line on which sound and science perch together, much less a fine one?)

There is “Chocolate Maker” (I really don’t want to know, but I assume this person is more or less defined by a recalcitrant GI tract). And then there is “From the Midwest.” Of all of the Quora voices, this last is one I might be able to trust, if only because she seems to have wasted no precious brain cells attempting to present herself as anything other than what she is.

Among the burning questions that have been asked and answered on Quora are that age-old adolescent favorite, What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever been caught doing? and the slightly more interesting What screams I’m low class?

The latter question was answered by a number of profoundly thoughtful arbiters of social status, including one Wal-Mart shopper who was standing in line behind a woman who was returning all sorts of items that appeared to have been opened and used.

“That’s just so low class,” mused Keen Observer of Human Life, who was herself in line to return a swimsuit. Which is not at all low class.

One of my favorite questions was My boss asked me if I was born stupid or did I just grow that way. How should I answer him politely? (I’m thinking “Yes sir” would suffice.)

But back to dreams and fantasies: the sterling brains of Quora suggested that dreams have an “expiration date,” while it is possible to live in fantasy for a lifetime. Some suggested (I’m paraphrasing here) dreams are something you act on while fantasies are something you act in.

Not bad answers for a group of people whose social media platform isn’t even a real word. However, as I attempted to mentally categorize desires other than my rescue ranch one into “fantasy” or “dream,” I discovered things are not so black and white. Sometimes you can’t know if something is a dream or fantasy until you’ve got some distance on it. And sometimes you simply are not in control of whether something you desire is a dream or a fantasy.

Take COVID, for example. I am masking up, mostly staying home, and keeping clean and distant from others. My dream is that COVID will be gone by sometime next year. But a 2021 eradication could very possibly turn out to be a fantasy.

Or consider the upcoming election. My dream is that we will have a new president come November. I will do my part by voting and by engaging in that age-old method of influencing outcomes: wringing my hands and saying “Please please please” under my breath as the votes are tallied. But my desired outcome might also turn out to be a fantasy.

Regardless of the difference between fantasies and dreams, they serve a similar purpose: they show us what we value, how we want to be living, and give us hope for a future in which all that we desire awaits. Without them, we are walking the fine line of emptiness and uncertainty.

But don’t just take it from me. Somewhere on Quora, Avid Student of Knowledge is waiting to back me up.